Hi, my name's Deymond, and this is my website. I've recently become aware of the fact that some people might think it is a blog. It was not created as such, however as I have become rather lazy (and remain quite arrogant) I suppose it will become more and more like a blog, that is if I take the time to update it.
I had jury duty Thursday. Got home Thursday morning at about 12:30 in the morning (after unsuccessfully attempting to goad a truck driver into an altercation), got a few hours sleep, woke up, found my way to the jury room, and then found out that I had jury duty Friday as well. It would've been nice if that was noted on the summons. We sat around until about 3:30. None of the courtrooms needed prospective jurors, so they sent us home early, which allowed me to go spend a few hours at work (more on that later). Friday, we had nothing until the afternoon, when they sent some prospective jurors (including myself) to a courtroom for a trial (a gentleman was accused of selling some powder to a person who was not the person they appeared to be). During the selection process a lady had a seizure, which stalled the proceedings. I was bit disgusted with the reaction of the PoPos, who apparently are trained in sitting, standing, pouring glasses of water, and combing their hair, but not in first aid. I couldn't see the woman, but I did hear one of the other prospective jurors exclaim 'make sure she doesn't [clun-clunk] fall!' However, the officer who was staring straight at her, perhaps 18 inches away, couldn't recognize this possibility until it was too late. I think they finished the day having selected about half a dozen jurors, and then I got lost in Chinatown for the third time that day.
Aside from doing my civic duty, I've been working all the time. I worked a couple of 80 hour weeks until this week, which was still 63 hours despite being gone for jury duty. My boss used to tell me to tell me that I needn't work so much; that other people could pick up the slack if I didn't want to work such insane hours. I asked him about that Friday night and I think I was told that I was basically on my own. Kind of disappointing but I can see his perspective. However, things might be getting a little better.
I've been trying to find a new apartment, as mine is tiny, cramped, and miserable. I found a gorgeous apartment on 126th street (just 10 blocks up from my current place), but there was some kind of co-brokerage thing going on and I got screwed. Looks like I'll be going after a more expensive studio that isn't quite as nice...but it's still a vast improvement over this one. And I'll live close enough to egg the other one.
--posted 050515
Awaiting prospective juror selection along with me is a strikingly beautiful woman, with an absolutely breathtaking face that I am certain I have reamt about. In my observation I see a young man speaking to her. Not being privy to their conversation, I can only imagine that his interests are no more or less compelling than mine, bu yet the observation of such an interaction disgusts me. Undeniably she is a prize (as much as can be judged throug istant observation), and as such necessarily an object. Which is the source of my disgust, the objectification or the pursuit requird to acquire the object?
At any rate, the one good thing about ogling women here is that I know they're all legal.
--written 050513
It is nearly February 20th, but I thought I would share some as of yet unforgotten musings regarding Valentine's Day. Claudius believed that single men made better soldiers, which despite being a generality is generally right (his intentions for his army notwithstanding). Valentinus assisted young members of the Roman army in breaking the law which was meant to strengthen that very army and therefore defend the Roman Empire. These days no one has a lot of sympathy for the fate of the Roman Empire or the act of treason committed against it, and we have a holiday named after Valentinus. But I guess that's politics.
--posted 050219
Last night I slept better than I have in years. I'm going to wake up and puke every morning at 3 am.
--posted 050123
I do not want, I do not feel
I've turned inward on myself
I can't find anything that's real
But history repeats itself
(History Repeats Itself by A.O.S.)
--posted 050101
Well, I'm staring at a blank screen, and although it is morning and I usually turn to these things at night, it is December 31st and it is time for me to commemorate the year that was in prose. Other than the fact that people are up past midnight consuming alcohol, I think it is December 31st that should be mourned, rather than January 1st being celebrated. But I'm a very negative person.
As the burning embers of my life lay before me last night, I found myself reading blogs that I probably shouldn't read and in general wondering How Did It All Go So Wrong. Allow me to create a timeline of the events I may not have properly explained:
05/14/2003 (or so): returned to Camp Pendleton CA from Kuwait
06/25/2003 : arrived in Manhattan
07/04/2003 : moved into my apartment in Harlem
08/27/2003 (or so): started work at STS
[all kind of a blur here]
02/29/2004 : visited my father's grave in OH(it had been a while)
06/13/2004 : left STS so that I could return to the war in Iraq
06/26/2004 : returned to my apartment after being medically disqualified
06/28/2004 : flew to FL to visit a friend
07/01/2004 : returned to STS
08/21/2004 : returned to FL; endured emotional destruction; lost friend
08/27/2004 (or so): promoted at STS
09/03/2004 : flew to GA to visit my brother
12/24/2004 : flew to OH to visit father's grave/aunts/uncles/grandmother
12/29/2004 : heart crushed, spirit destroyed
Writing this makes me think that perhaps that last entry was overdramatic; perhaps things aren't as bad as they seem. But I'm not living in the 07/04/2003 or the 08/27/2004 or even in the 12/24/2004. I'm living in the moment, otherwise known as despair. I don't really want to get into the details, but to sum it up, there was an attractive and very intelligent young lady whom I had taken quite an interest in. I spent quite a bit of time and effort trying to gain her trust, only to find out she is dating a married man. There are many ways to look at this situation, but all in all, I must accept that of all of God's creatures, this is obviously one of the dumbest. There may be a little bit of spite in that comment, but you can't deny the truth of it.
This is in contrast to the lovely girl I met in Miami who is still quite lovely in my opinion if a bit flighty at times. She merely took a liking to the airline pilot instead of myself. Which is COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS, but that's ancient history.
Other than that my life is incredibly empty and boring. I wake up, I shower, spend a few moments on the computer, then I go to work. Work consists of instructing people how/why to do things, as well as performing various incredibly mundane administrative tasks. After work, I come home, watch some television, complain to people I've never seen about things they don't really care about, and then go to sleep. About once every week and a half I'll do laundry, and at random intervals I visit the grocery store.
In case anyone is wondering, I tried to return to the Marine Corps in June of 2004 for the purpose of being redeployed to Iraq, but the unqualified MO (specifically, Dr. Hynum) who was to give me my physical decided I was underweight. Unfortunately I knew this to be false (the minimum for my height is 119 pounds, which I knew because I weighed 120 when I joined), and the situation deteriorated after I informed the doctor of this. I'm sure Dr. Hynum has a pediatrician or whatever he is for a long time, but he's a poor excuse for doctor and a naval officer. My personal feelings about the doctor aside, I wish I had gotten to go back, but I've accepted that it wasn't mean to be.
I'm not sure if I'm overlooking anything. My excuse for not updating my website has been that I wanted to post my journal from Kuwait/Iraq (February 2003 to May 2003). However, my journal was in the possession of a good friend of mine who apparently has been on the lam for a while. I've been told my journal (along with some other belongings) are safe, but who knows if I'll ever see them again. Thanks for not emptying the bank accounts!
--posted 041231
I am leaving the morning of Sunday June 13th to fly back to southern California, where I will rejoin the USMC for one more year. I am doing this of my own volition for the purpose of returning to Iraq. This is understandably a strange choice to many people, but the more I thought about it, the harder it was for me to come up with reasons not to go back in. I will try to keep an updated snail mail address at the bottom of this page. I may have access to email but I'm not counting on it.
--posted 040606
I haven't my updated website in fourteen months, the following are a few paragraphs I wrote about six weeks ago.
It's Saturday the 28th of Febuary. Tomorrow is the 29th, an extra day that only comes around every four years. It comes at a great time, because today has been almost a complete waste. I went to sleep last night at 11, woke up at 2 am, and flew out of Newark, NJ to Boston, and then into Columbus. Both flights featured the same tiny plane and the same pair of incrdibly loud screaming children right behind my seat. I was in Columbus by 10:30, and at 10:45 I was in my old neighborhood. I walked around for the next three hours until I realized that it's rather depressing. From there I headed to the bus station, where I would have a short wait until my 3:45 bus to Zanesville. Unfortunately there was no 3:45 bus to Zanesville, but rather a 6:45 bus to Zanesville. At this point I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and my judgement is shot. So naturally, I want to write. However, I left my $0.50 notepad and my $0.10 pens at home, so I stumbled around for about 90 minutes vainly hoping for a CVS or Wal-Greens (in that time I could've found a dozen Duane Reade stores in Manhattan), before I finally broke down and bought a notepad and pen for $12 at a Franklin Covey store in City Center.
I've developed a theory that I'm much more attractive to women here than in NY. Not sure what to attribute that to, but I think women in NY have artificially high standards due in part to the abundance of attractive gay men. Not that Columbus doesn't have a significant gay population, but it's not the same.
Right now I've moved from the Greyhound station, I'm at some office on the corner of 3rd & Main, charging my MP3 player. My ethics have already been questioned by an affable bum, who also questioned how I could survive in America without 'some form of monetary goods.' My energy-siphoning scheme is working well, a police officer drove by oblivious to my actions because he was distracted by nearby skateboarders.
Aside from this trip (I'll be back in the mid-Atlantic region Monday morning), my life is quiet. I've been trying to track down some belongings, including a journal I kept while in Iraq. No real progress, but I have a couple of leads to follow up on when I get back. Things are going well at work, and I am pleased with my professional development, but not so much with my personal life. Hopefully those can be balanced out.
Today is March 1st, I'm inside the 'B' terminal of the infamous Logan International Airport in Boston, Massachusetts, on my way back to Newark and eventually Manhattan. There are of course flights to JFK and LaGuardia leaving from the same terminal, taunting me for not spending the extra $290 to fly out of NYC.
--posted 040412
Just wanted to say goodbye, I'm leaving for 'the desert' tomorrow. I'd love to hear from you, if you care to write me. The address at the bottom of the page will work fine, it gets forwarded.
--posted 030206
Well, it looks like I'll be leaving Camp Pendleton sooner than I planned. Not for New York, that'll be a while. My enlistment has been extended by a year, and I'm told I'll be going to Kuwait soon. Not real happy about that, but I'll be getting paid for it, and when I get out I'll have a lot more money saved.
--posted 030128
It's New Year's Eve, and I've decided to update my website. I've neglected this for a long time, for various reasons. I have about two months left, presuming that I don't get extended or something like that, which is very possible. I'll be moving to NYC when I finish, although I haven't found a place to live yet. I decided about two years ago to move there. I'm not sure what I expect out of it, but I have to make some sort of a life for myself there. Right now I'm completely disconnected, from everything and everyone, and I want to start over. I spent the second week of December in the city, looking around and trying to enjoy myself at the same time (that being my first visit).
My longtime friendship with Aubrey ended while I was there. I felt really bad about it for a while, but I suppose it was just more work to be friends than it used to be. There were so many times since I've been here at Pendleton when it seemed like Aubrey was the only thing keeping me sane. Maybe that motivated me to hang onto the friendship when I should've let it die.
I spent the third week of December in Minnesota, with Alecia and her parents. That was nice, although I felt a little out of place because they're very friendly and personable, and I am just the opposite. I've known Alecia for about five and a half years, and I wish I wouldn't have waited so long to go see her.
--posted 021231
I've been in Camp Pendleton a month and a half. I'm a little disappointed. I had really been itching to get out of my platoon and move onto something else, but now that I've moved out of the platoon and into the armory, I just feel burnt out. I don't lack dedication to my job, but it's nothing more than that, just a job, and one that I can't wait to leave.
The things that I looked to comfort and inspire me over the past few years are now gone, and at times, reflecting upon the current state of my life is pure agony.
BTW, Netscape shut down the Hitometer counter...last count was 12,717
--posted 020825
It's August already. I'm back in Camp Pendleton again, got back here July 8th. Deployment was kind of a letdown, just a lot of sitting around on ship.
We spent most of March on the USS Juneau, with a stop in Iwo Jima (coinciding with the anniversary of the WWII flag-raising) and a stop in Po-Hang, South Korea (ROK). South Korea was highlighted by an eight hour liberty expedition which involved a couple of friends, a bottle of whiskey, and getting chased out of a brothel (they wanted 100,000 won for the bottle). We came back early April, went to the rifle range (I specifically requested to go on that range, and shot terribly), then got back on the Juneau in the beginning of May. We went to Pattaya Beach, Thailand (the center of all things immoral in the universe) for four days of liberty, and then came back on ship to participate in Cobra Gold 2002 (a joint exercise between US and Thailand forces). I stayed on ship, I wasn't in on any of that. Some of the Thai marines came on ship, and I traded for one of their camouflage tops (my only souvenir). After Cobra Gold, we went to Hong Kong for another four days. Hong Kong was beautiful, and very very large (I love big cities). We left Hong Kong on the 7th of June, we were supposed to get back to Okinawa on the 12th, and we were supposed to get back to the US on July 8th. Well, the day we left Hong Kong, the ship's captain told us we were going to Singapore to refuel, with the possibility of heading to Pakistan or India. This was quite unpopular, and caused several unpopular rumors to start, including but not limited to the possible extension of our deployment through the month of September. So, we headed to Singapore, took on about two months of supplies, and got off ship for three days. We spent a few days hanging out in Singapore (nice city, not quite as nice as HK), and then we turned around and headed back to Okinawa.
Once we returned to Camp Hansen (our home in Okinawa), I started working in the armory. I put in a couple weeks of fifteen hour days to get the armory ready for turnover to the incoming company. Now I'm back in Camp Pendleton, getting the armory here in order (I've officially departed Weapons platoon, and am now part of Headquarters platoon). I'll write more later, hopefully soon.
--posted 020806
I'm sitting here with some time on my hands before I have to make a phone call. A deep personal conflict between myself and my good friend Aubrey has come up, and it's got me thinking about a lot of things. I find myself often in situations that I try to explain, either to other people, or to myself. And I find that after I've explained them once, I come up with a different explanations. Now, it's normal when dealing with a complex situations that there are many different perspectives on a given item. But sometimes things get to the point where I can say something one day, with absolute conviction, and then feel completely different about it the next, as if my mind tricked me. This is very difficult to convey to other people, to the point where I don't really try very often. It causes some guilt at times, but it's not like I have many options. I'm not going to change someone's opinion or perception by saying 'hey, that thing I said yesterday, I don't think I mean that anymore.' It seems pretty disingenuous, even to myself.
The one thing that I'd like to think I have going for me is honesty, but lately I'm getting to the point where I don't trust my own thoughts.
--posted 020218
It's February 16th, and that means I've been here 42 days. I've got five more months left on the island, and 405 days on my contract (67 of which are leave days), not that I'm counting. As usual, it's been a very long time since I've updated the website. I've been spending most of my html-writing time on the website that I maintain and host for my unit (India company). It's something to do, and it gets me around a computer even here in Okinawa, which is a very good thing.
What have I been up to lately...hmm. In December we had one more boat raid at Camp Pendleton, then we had pre-deployment/Christmas leave. I went to Maryland to visit my friend Aubrey. We hadn't met in person before, so it was a bit awkward at first, but it turned out great. I came back the day after Christmas, and on Sunday January 6th at 8 am (Saturday evening in the states) I was standing in front of my barracks here in Okinawa.
We're on a fairly rigorous training schedule, but it's mostly four or five day field ops, so it's not bad. We had a mortar range (we got to fire twenty-one rounds!), a jungle patrolling package (a lot of the 'jungle' resembled my front yard in Ohio, but I didn't see the good parts), and a few boat raids (I missed a couple when I had my wisdom teeth taken out two weeks ago).
So far I've been successful in my attempts not to absorb any culture. I haven't been in town (save for being transported to/from training) once. There are a lot of great things to do I'm told, but I figure as long as I stay here I won't know what I'm missing. Mostly I focus my time and energy on my personal finances and self evaluation. I'm coming to grips with the fact that I'm stuck in a fraternity for the next year or so, and that some of my behavior and attitudes will be affected by that, whether I want it to or not.
BTW, in the unlikely event that anyone will be wondering what happened to the items from the year 2000, all of those are now located in the 2000 archives.
